old times-ish

so sometimes, i wish it were still like 1658.

where i, as a woman, would have nothing to do with my life. nothing.

no decisions to make, no fantastical ideas of making decisions, no will to make any decisions, no want to make decisions, no need to want anything out of life except to birth babies and listen to a husband.

that's all i would need for survival.

it sounds tempting sometimes. to have have no dreams because you weren't allowed to have any.

to be a null; a void of humanity. or humanity as we have been said to believe in. an alexithymia, if you will. (not really. but i'm trying to put my reading to good use.)

i know big words for a sunday night, and hardly the type of attitude i need to have for a monday that is sure to kick my assssss.

so... to robin hood, to the civil war era, to the repressive 1950's... here's to wishing that it was the old times-ish again...